Are These Men Serious?

Date: Monday, February 11th, 2013

Age: 25

Who: Dental School Sweetheart

Reason for nickname: A 3rd year in Dental School and involved in many volunteer non-profit activities.

When & where did I meet him: Match.com

Who initiated: He did, he messaged me.

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Dental School Sweetheart and I exchanged short and quick emails through Match. I hate texting, my thumbs have been through enough! I’m only on these dating site using the iPhone apps so I really appreciate short messages. I hate when I have to type paragraphs and form essays using my phone. This guy’s messages was very short and sweet, he asked me for my number by the second message. 

We text each other for a few days and we happened to be in the same place but never met up. It was Chinese New Year weekend and we were both at the same festival, didn’t know until later that night. This really impressed me because lots of guys I date hate going to those events, it showed me we had similar interests. We decided to set up a dinner on a Monday night. I had a client and told him I could meet up with him after.

He lives near my parents house which is about 15 minutes from where I was. I decided to go out to his area and visit my parents as well. He told me to call him when I was on my way and so I did, notifying him that it will only take me 15 minutes. I ended up getting there before him so I sat at the sushi bar. 

About 10-15 Minutes later, he walks in. Pretty cute Asian guy, about 5’8, great smile (he better have one since he’s becoming a dentist). He sits next to me, within 30 seconds he asks if we could move to a table. There was absolutely no one in the restaurant. 

I told him I don’t eat carbs at night since I’m trying to get fit and he is working on his fitness now too so we both just shared a sashimi plate. 

Him: “So what kind of guys do you like, what’s your type”

Me: “Physically? or Personality?”

Him: “Both”

I don’t understand why you would ask this question this early. What if everything I’m looking for is not you. Wouldn’t the date be super awkward? Whatever, I sugarcoat everything and say anything to make him feel comfortable but he didn’t seem to feel the same.

Me: “I just care about height and teeth for the physical side. For personality, just someone who is supportive of my work and hobbies. Someone who would glady love to come to events that I throw or drive with me to my client meetings and actually try to find interest in what I do to maybe work with with me. What about you?”

Him: “Well my ex, she was very tall, about 5’8 and with heels she was taller than me. I kind of liked that. (I’m only 5’4) I also liked the fact she was very involved in modeling and fashion shows. She recently modeled this 10,000 dress for an ad. (I am a curvy, not model figured girl) I’ve met a few girls here in med school and I like them a lot, intelligence turns me on (I’m still in school trying to finish up my bachelors with no plans on going to graduate school).”

WELL, talk about self esteem issues. Yeah, so I felt like maybe this guy is trying to give me a hint that I’m not a suitable candidate for him. Yea I’m leaving out a lot of things that were positive like he wants someone that laughs at his jokes and blah blah which I do but the negatives are more important right now.

Me: “So I read your originally from Houston, Texas? I have a theory about Southern guys. I like them a lot because there gentlemen and very traditional. California guys are all about having fun, partying and not wanting to settle until mid-late 30s. All my southern friends all are married or getting married and they’re only in there 20s. 

He confirms that. He says he was homesick for awhile when he first got into dental school here because people aren’t as kind. It’s a very competitive dog eat dog world here in California, especially in medical school. But then he goes off about how he loves California now. He loves going clubbing, drinking and throwing parties now. He mentioned he threw a party where he got girls to wrestle in mud and the pool party turned into a topless pool party. Great, he’s officially turned into a California guy when I specifically just mentioned I liked the non party traditional Southern guys.

Him: “What do you like to do for fun?”

Again, I hate this question because I literally work 80 hours a week and never have any free time. When I do, I go on dates. I’m not going to tell him I go on dates for fun, so I answer it differently.

Me: “Since I work so much. When I do have free time, I like to dress up and go have a nice dinner with good company.”

Awesome way to hide that I’m a serial dater. I ask him the same questions back.

Him: “Well I am the VP of the Asian Club here at my school. I also was the VP for the Asian Club back in my undergrad. I would go out, find guest performers, raise funds for our culture shows and coordinate all events. I recently just finished a project where I built homes for poor kids in Vietnam. Now I’m starting up a Fraternity for the Dental School Students at my school. Also, once a week I go to LA and give free dental work to the unfortunate children.”

Well, shit. I do lots of volunteer work and never met anyone who did as much or more. I’ve met my match and I didn’t even get to tell him about all the things I do because from experience it made people feel like they were worthless. Now I know how those people feel. Now this is were I’m trying to win points and telling him about all the stuff I used to do. How I held an important position in the same Asian Club he does for 5 years and run a non-profit dance group for young teens and give 50+ year old women dance lessons twice a week. In the end, I felt like I was just trying to one-up him. I am totally failing right now.

The owner of the restaurant tells us that they’re closing and cleaning up. Most dates, guys would always try to spend as much time as they can with me and I would always had to call it a night. No, he tells me that he has to meet up with him roommates and had to go home.

He walks me to my car and I decide to drive him back to his car. It was an awkward hug goodbye inside the car. There was no “this was fun, we should do it again,” or “it was nice meeting you, let’s keep in touch”. Nothing. Nothing that made me feel like he was going to call.

I get home, an hour later he texts me.

“That was a lot of fun tonight. We’ll definitely do it again soon.”

Will there be a second date? Yes, if he really wants to. I’m not into party guys but I’m not looking for anything too serious so why not?

Why hello there. It’s been awhile hasn’t it?

In the past year, many things have happened. Including me having relationships, breakups, losing my virginity (what?) and I have to state that I am no longer the same person as before. I’ve reread all of my posts and wow, I was really soul searching wasn’t I? It’s only been a year and I feel like I’ve grown much older and wiser, or maybe I just turned into this bitch. Bitter much? Ya, I hate men yet hate to admit it, I can’t live without them.

For the followers who have been following, why have I not been writing? Well I actually got caught up. Even though everything is anonymous, even myself! One of my dates happened to find this blog and yeah, you can imagine how embarrassed I was.

Now I’m back because I just don’t give a shit. I’m bored at work anyways so typing away will make me look like I’m working hard. So let’s get this thing going. 

Date: Monday, February 21st, 2012

Age: 23

Who: Religious Tennis Coach

Reason for nickname: Coaches tennis and wants to be a Deacon, very serious about his Catholic religion.

When & where did I meet him: Mid-February on OkCupid

Who initiated: He did, messaged me properly with his favorite breed of dog with a sincere message following it.

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I am Catholic. I’m not a very good one but enough to where my faith does play an important part in my life. This guy wants to be a Deacon, which is like a priest but can get married and have a family. This really impressed me because I felt that maybe he could make me into a better Catholic. I know my parents would love him because my dad is really planning on becoming a Deacon as well. We had many similarities, we are both youth group leaders at a Catholic church. I am a youth group leader for a Vietnamese youth group and I was VERY impressed when he knew what it was, especially for someone who isn’t even Vietnamese. 

He asks me on a date to get dessert at 7 o’clock. He decides to pick a place maybe about 20 minutes from me and said he would pick me up. He has to actually pass the dessert place to pick me up and take me back. I took the offer because I’m tired of meeting half way or driving. About 25 minutes before 5 o’clock I realized I had a chiropractor appointment that day which is actually only 10 minutes from the dessert place. I ended up telling him I’d meet him there because my appointment actually takes over an hour. 

I get there and he’s already there with a table. Already from pictures, I wasn’t really attracted to him but I’ve met many who looked better in person. I’ve also been unattracted to someone in the beginning before and ended up really liking him. So I gave this one a shot, he was a super gentleman. Just… a little too nice. I didn’t feel a very dominate, manly feel to him. I come in, immediately spot him and sit down across from him.

Him: “So, why are you on this site? I’m sorry I don’t mean to offend you in anyway but your obviously really pretty and have everything going for you.”

Me: “Uh… I don’t know? I seem to have a really hard time dating, I don’t know?”

We end up sharing dessert and honestly, I was starving! How do you set up a date at 7pm which is dinner time and only have dessert? I came straight from my chiropractor appointment starting at 5pm and our date lasted until 9pm. When did I eat dinner? I didn’t.

We end up talking about our future plans and what we want in life. He pulls out two index cards with a list of things. I grabbed it from his hands and read it out loud. One was a list of things he wanted to accomplish this year and the other one was like a reassuring confidence card? Like “I am a great guy”. He was a little dorky… but I like dorky and weird, maybe just a little too dorky though. I’m kind of glad he brought them out because it made it much easier to have a conversation with him. I was getting kind of bored and speechless, AND STARVING!

He ends up bringing a deck of cards and challenges me to a game of “13”, making bets for kisses and second dates. I said no kisses, he got offended and started making me feel bad that I didn’t want to exchange kisses because I didn’t like him. I end up settling for kiss on the cheek because I own at this game. The waitress at the dessert place said they didn’t allow playing cards there which I understand because it is a pretty busy place and they need the tables. We walk next door to a restaurant and bar that I was a bartender at. We play cards there and he beats me the first two times but then I owned him the rest of the games. 

Me: “So how is OkCupid going for you? How long have you been on it? How many dates have you been on?”

Him: “I’ve been on 6 dates and been on it for about 3 weeks.”

Me: “WHAT?! To me that’s a lot of dates in 3 weeks! Any of those turn into second dates?”

Him: “No, I just wasn’t attracted to them and I felt like there was no chemistry.”

Me: “Wait, so you’ve been on 6 dates and didn’t want a second date with any of them but you want one with me? I’m flattered.”

Him: “Well yeah, I find you very attractive and I think we have something going on here. We have great chemistry, do you not think so?”

Me: “Um, yea I think we get along well but I’m just a very friendly and outgoing girl. I get along with everyone and that maybe confused as chemistry… but who knows…”

Yea, I totally sugarcoat everything. We call it a night and he walks me to my card. He notices I’m cold and tries to put his arm around me. I get very nervous when someone touches me so I giggle and push him away. He did it again and I let him hold on maybe just a few seconds longer. We get to my car, exchange hugs and he kisses me on the cheek. I was not really feeling this guy, I just kept giggling, told him I am a very shy girl and am not very affectionate. I drive off and he texts me he had a good time can’t wait to see me again type of message.

Will there be another date? No… maybe just hangout as a friend.

Date: February 1st, 2012

Age: 23

Who: White Boy Audi

Reason for nickname: White boy who drives an Audi

When & where did I meet him: Back in early November at a car meet

Who initiated: I did, I introduced myself at the meet. Messaged him on Facebook.

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First date was lovely! True gentleman I tell ya. He texted me that he believes it’s my turn to plan the date and I agreed! I am Living Social/Groupon obsessed and I always purchase two of eveyrthing if it only covers one person. I bought a Prix Fixe Meal for Two at Beso Restaurant for $65. The deal comes with one starter, 2 appetizers, 2 entrees and 2 desserts. Normally, with tax and tip, it would probably be about a $200 meal. I’ve been holding onto that deal waiting to find someone that deserves to be taken there. He textes me and I did what he did to me.

Him: “So what place is it?? Haha”

Me: “Surprise… Lol”

I never been to Beso and have heard many odd things about it. Some say it’s delicious, some say it’s just alright. Beso is known to have a curse, handful of famous couples who’ve eaten at Eva Longoria’s restaurant Beso suddenly break up. White Boy Audi and I aren’t officially together SO, I concurred that it would be okay for us to eat there. I got nervous because I didn’t know exactly how fancy this place was so I just ended up telling where we were eating so he could get a feel of what to wear. I struggled with my outfit, I didn’t know to put on nice jeans and heels or a fancy dress with jewelry. I ended up going with a nice casual light blue dress with brown boots and an over the shoulder bag. I live in the middle between his house and the restaurant. He calls me when he gets near my house saying he’s almost there. I told him to park because I wanted to drive him. Why? First of all, I planned a surprise place to visit after dinner so I wanted to take him there. Second, I met this guy at a car meet.. obviously he would be super impressed that I drive a manual car. My car was clean too which is not very likely, haha. He gives me a big hug, then we jump in my car and go. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve went on a 2nd date. I got to know him really well on the 1st one so it was kind of quiet driving to the restaurant. Little small talk here and there, usual questions like, “How was your day?”, “Any plans for the weekend?” etc. We get to the Hollywood 30 minutes earlier than our reservations. I don’t go out to Hollywood often so I didn’t realize I should always carry cash to pay for parking. I asked him to look up the nearest ATM for me so I can go get cash. 

Him: “I would totally pay for your parking but I don’t have any cash on me neither.”

We find an ATM and there was like no parking. I HATE PARKING IN LA, so he told me to just pull over and let him out.

Him: “Just pull over, I’ll run to the ATM and get cash so you don’t have to park.”

Me: “No, no! It’s okay! I don’t want you to pay for parking.”

Him: “Don’t worry about it, it’s okay. You drove, I got this.”

What a sweetheart! He runs to the ATM, gets cash pretty quickly and jumps back in my car. We drive back near the restaurant and he told me just go to valet, he would pay for it. Being a speedy driver I am, I passed up valet and there was parking lot a block away and I decided to just park there. We were early so I didn’t mind walking a little bit, when do I ever have a chance to walk around the Hollywood streets?

We get to the restaurant, both confused on how to get in. There were two doors and both looked like decoration to the wall. We decided to try to open one of them and it was not a real door. Then walked to the other side and found the correct entrance. He opened the door for me and the hostess greeted us right away. I told her my name, said I had reservations and she escorted us to our table. The place is beautiful! Super elegant and a very high class feel to it. This was fine dining. We happened to come to a night where something was being filmed upstairs, looked like a reality show. We had dinner and ordered different things off the menu so we could try each others. He eats very slow and never finishes his food. I, on the other hand, am a different story. There were many times I had to place my fork down just so he can at least catch up a little bit. The food was actually pretty good, only one of the appetizers which I got a Chicken Kabob was little dry. The dessert was phenomenal! Best churros I’ve ever had, well I’ve only had Disneylands and Costco, haha. 

The waiter messed up on my bill and forgot I had a Groupon deal which means I prepaid for it already. He disappeared for awhile and waited about 20 minutes until I got him to fix my bill which was fine since there was no rush on going anywhere. Since the meal is already paid for, the tip isn’t. This is where I started feeling really bad because I didn’t get cash and didn’t know if I would be allowed to tip on my card. He kept mentioning that he got it and not too worry. He’s such a sweetheart but I just didn’t like feeling the way I felt because this date was supposed to be me treating him out and showing him what kind of girl I am. I ended up finding a way to tip him on my card because I guess tax wasn’t covered in the $65 I prepaid for. Total came out to like 18 dollars because the gratuity of 20% was included. I was very happy that I got to pay for it. We take a picture together at the restaurant and then leave. We walk to my car, talking, laughing, flirting and all. 

Him: “This is amazing, a girl has never taken and treated me out like this.”

Me: “Really? Aw, well I’m glad your enjoying it but.. don’t get use to it.”

We both laughed hysterically and he opens the door for me when we get to my car. No one has ever opened the door for me to get into the driver seat, other than valet, haha. I was feeling all giddy inside. We drive out of the parking lot and towards the next destination. He took me to see a beautiful view of the city so means he likes to look at pretty things, lol. I decided to take him to LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Arts) to visit the Urban Lights. I didn’t tell him where we were going I just kept driving asking him to guess where and believed that he has been there before. On the way there, he takes out his iPhone 4S…

Him: “Siri, where is Tina taking me?”

OMG! I could not stop laughing! He is just so funny and adorable! Once we get on Wilshire Blvd, I kept asking him if he has any clue of where I’m taking him. He said he had 10 locations in his head that were possible destinations. I tell him that we’re technically here when we were about maybe 100 feet from LACMA, then he tells me he actually has no idea where I’m taking him now. I point to the Urban Lights…

Me: “Okay! We’re here! You’ve been here before right? 

Him: “No! I have never been here before nor have heard about this place”

Ah! I was so happy I got to surprise him. I told him that this place became very popular after the movie “No Strings Attached” was filmed there. He pulled up the scene from the movie on his phone to watch it. 

Me: “Omg, are you really going to watch it right now?!”

Him: “Yea! Let’s re-enact the scene.”

Me: “Um.. it’s a fighting scene..”

Him: “Oh, haha nevermind…..”

It was so funny how while watching it together he would point on the actual spot in the movie where the actors were. It was just nice enjoying the lights and took lots of pictures. There were times he started getting much closer to me than usual, I was just so shy that I kept my distance. After spending about half an hour there, I decide to call it a night and head back. On the way back, we talked about the most daring things we’ve ever done where we hurt ourselves. I have a few emergency room stories but he has twice as many and more gruesome. He practically cut off his pinky finger and had it put back on. He was showing me how his pinky finger is shorter than the other one! We get to my house and I walk him to his car. 

We hug each other each other for awhile and kept talking about how great the night was. As I let go of the hug, I can see him from the corner of my eye leaning in! I bury my face into his chest and start giggling nervously. This is when I realized this guy is REALLY tall, I would say maybe like 6’4. Then I slightly pull away again, he grabs my chin…

Him: “Oh, come here”

He kisses me and I just start giggling! 

Me: “I’m so sorry, I’m just very nervous and I have a giggling problem”

He couldn’t stop smiling really big and having that silent laughter telling me that it was okay.

We kiss again for maybe just a second longer and I get so nervous I just bury my head into his chest again, laughing and hugging him real close still apologizing for having the giggles.

We sneak in one more quick kiss and say our goodbyes.. He drives off and I text him a happy face. He textes me back “xoxo”. 

Will there be another date? Yes.